you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
