I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
