Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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