Where did you get a picture of my penis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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