I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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