im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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