I am puke
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
