Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
