idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
