just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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