I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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