i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
