he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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