Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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