Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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