Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
