I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
