i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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