why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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