Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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