If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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