A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
