i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
