Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
id be glad to
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
