I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
