Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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