oh god the rape fog is back!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
