I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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