Kareoke will never be a sober sport
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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