your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
