So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
