I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
