Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We have started to decorate penises.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
