the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she smelled like a LAN party
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
