I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
