I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
