Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
