it wasn't lemon gatorade
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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