im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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