ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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