just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
