like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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