Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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