She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
