woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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