She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I want to be your penis for a week.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
