So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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