I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
