# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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