Dual....:-)
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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