they need to just BURY HIM!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
